A college student was crying on his bed every night or night after night. Every moment on his room is nothing but just for his own. No one is included. He sits on the floor like a ghost. In silence, no one can ever see what he does. While listening to the stream of music of wrongfulness, self-denial, grievance and sorrow, tears fell little by little. But for him, every teardrop is a sign of being such a precious stone, a diamond, robust and stable. But what a big mistake he was born...
"Hi father! Screw you! You don't know any better. Mother! you're a bitch! I admit siguro hindi nga ako naging mabuting anak ngunit ask yourselves, naging mabuting magulang ba kayo? Dahil na rin sa inyo kaya ako nagkakaganito. Sabihin nyo man na anak lang ako. Okay! So what? Mas gugustuhin ko pa na di nyo na ako isinilang dahil binuhay nyo lang ako para maghirap! I know kayo ang sumusustento sa akin pero tungkulin nyo yun and problema nyo na din yon! Anyways hindi naman kayo ang nagpalaki sa akin!"
I was terrified! Sometimes I realized I wish I don't exist. We only live to suffer then eventually die.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A student diary
As a student I know how to read.
While reading a particular handbook, this is what I saw...
June 4, 2007.
"It was the first day of my school and I am very nervous. I asked what would I do if I faced my new classmates? What would be my reaction? On the first day of my class I saw different faces and I wonder. Are these people were disciplined? Well, since I was only new there, I don't know what..."
But after a few days that passed, I discovered something strange. You know that the students from "Devine" schools are very nasty and foolish? Yes they are, very much."
June 18, 2007.
"Some of the students that excel most in the class are the transferee like Sarah, Nicolas and Grace. I am very proud for them because they prove that if you came from a public school, it doesn't mean that you are not educated. Remember that poverty is not the hindrance of success."
June 20, 2007
"There's such a lot of things I learned from our subjects. And we already had elected our homeroom officers but I think the election was not fair. Our president was M*** N****** even though Grace is better than him."
June 21, 2007.
"I went to school early and my classmates, Joepeth and Jumer greeted me "good morning." What a very nice day I approached. I cleaned our classroom and arrange the chairs. You know everytime I see small pieces of paper, I pick it up and throw it in the garbeage. How lazy they are, assigned as Sargent at arms, because it is their responsibility to pick up those garbages but what they have done is to disarrange the chairs and mess the room."
June 28, 2007.
"I'm just wondering why some people don't respect me. I thought PCST has a disciplined students? But what? They're not! The fourth year science do not respect me but not all of them. I asked myself why do they act to me in that manners. I thought they were brothers and sisters for us younger students. And note, in the first section. I guess section b is better. They act more as a bad influence rather than a good model, specially the boys. Why just almost everything that is happening to me in the first days of my school is bad? Look at me, I am a transferee but they don't respect me as I respect them once I entered their room to keep the books."
July 2, 2007.
"It was monday again. In the flag ceremony I saw a fourth year student looking at me angrily. I was wondering maybe they were scolded by my teacher as my teacher read my handbook. Why? If I? If I? could only! do a certain thing to stop this, I will! If it is okay. I will please the principal so I can talk to them face to face with the guide of the principal. But I think it's not going to happen. I just want to prove that I am a good brother to them but they don't trust on me. If there's only way I could talk with them privately, I will even there's a punishment for me in return. I'm not afraid to anyone If I know that I am always right..."
July 3, 2007.
"How many times would have to pass until people stops criticizing me? I think it is better for me to transfer again to another school but I see none. How many times do I have to cry? Do I think? Do I wish? K*********, a II- Science student. I thought he's gentleman and a good fellow, but I was wrong. He is a man full of blackness on his mind. If there's only no laws to follow., I will kill him, squeeze his head, smash his back with a razor sharp ax or blade or sword. But I can't because I pretend to myself that I am a good human for everyone. Sad to say wether they don't r-e-s-p-e-c-t me! Please!"
But it doesn't ends here.
While reading a particular handbook, this is what I saw...
June 4, 2007.
"It was the first day of my school and I am very nervous. I asked what would I do if I faced my new classmates? What would be my reaction? On the first day of my class I saw different faces and I wonder. Are these people were disciplined? Well, since I was only new there, I don't know what..."
But after a few days that passed, I discovered something strange. You know that the students from "Devine" schools are very nasty and foolish? Yes they are, very much."
June 18, 2007.
"Some of the students that excel most in the class are the transferee like Sarah, Nicolas and Grace. I am very proud for them because they prove that if you came from a public school, it doesn't mean that you are not educated. Remember that poverty is not the hindrance of success."
June 20, 2007
"There's such a lot of things I learned from our subjects. And we already had elected our homeroom officers but I think the election was not fair. Our president was M*** N****** even though Grace is better than him."
June 21, 2007.
"I went to school early and my classmates, Joepeth and Jumer greeted me "good morning." What a very nice day I approached. I cleaned our classroom and arrange the chairs. You know everytime I see small pieces of paper, I pick it up and throw it in the garbeage. How lazy they are, assigned as Sargent at arms, because it is their responsibility to pick up those garbages but what they have done is to disarrange the chairs and mess the room."
June 28, 2007.
"I'm just wondering why some people don't respect me. I thought PCST has a disciplined students? But what? They're not! The fourth year science do not respect me but not all of them. I asked myself why do they act to me in that manners. I thought they were brothers and sisters for us younger students. And note, in the first section. I guess section b is better. They act more as a bad influence rather than a good model, specially the boys. Why just almost everything that is happening to me in the first days of my school is bad? Look at me, I am a transferee but they don't respect me as I respect them once I entered their room to keep the books."
July 2, 2007.
"It was monday again. In the flag ceremony I saw a fourth year student looking at me angrily. I was wondering maybe they were scolded by my teacher as my teacher read my handbook. Why? If I? If I? could only! do a certain thing to stop this, I will! If it is okay. I will please the principal so I can talk to them face to face with the guide of the principal. But I think it's not going to happen. I just want to prove that I am a good brother to them but they don't trust on me. If there's only way I could talk with them privately, I will even there's a punishment for me in return. I'm not afraid to anyone If I know that I am always right..."
July 3, 2007.
"How many times would have to pass until people stops criticizing me? I think it is better for me to transfer again to another school but I see none. How many times do I have to cry? Do I think? Do I wish? K*********, a II- Science student. I thought he's gentleman and a good fellow, but I was wrong. He is a man full of blackness on his mind. If there's only no laws to follow., I will kill him, squeeze his head, smash his back with a razor sharp ax or blade or sword. But I can't because I pretend to myself that I am a good human for everyone. Sad to say wether they don't r-e-s-p-e-c-t me! Please!"
But it doesn't ends here.
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